I've lost the will to even write in this anymore. Everything's just so bitter.
So I'll run away into my lonely isolation, as my strength, and my hope fails me.
Sigh.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
What to do.
Okay, so looks like I'm in a little predicament. Van Hollen and the rest of the people I'm requesting a nomination from only require either a math teacher, or a science teacher's recommendation, plus two others... but the problem's that the service academies require a recommendation from both. But I don't have a science teacher, and my QO teacher's refuse because the short amount of time they had me. (Forensics for a quarter and one week). So as of now... my only hope is to somehow magically appeal the requirement, or to go to the head of the science department and have him look at my transcript/ask other teachers about my performance... and write an appeal based on that.
Looks like I've hit a little bump in the road.
Well, I've put too much thought into this to stop here and now.
Wish me luck.
Again.
Looks like I've hit a little bump in the road.
Well, I've put too much thought into this to stop here and now.
Wish me luck.
Again.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Numb.
Sadly, I think the day and a half I've been away from blogger now is the longest time I've gone without a post. Hahah. That's somewhat sad.
Song of the moment; Numb (Linkin Park / Evanescence cover)
I'm tired of being what you want me to be.
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.
I don't know what you're expecting of me.
Under the pressure, of walking in your shoes.
Every step that I take, is another mistake to you.
And every second I waste is more than I CAN TAKE.
I've become so numb, I can feel you there.
I've become so tired, so much more aware.
And I'm becoming this, all I want to do.
Is be more like me, and be less like you.
I will succeed, I will overcome. I no longer fear my death because I feel this life. I will not regret, but rather progress to a point where I become the definition of fearless.
Take hold of your bravery.
Are you proud of me now? Can you look at me with a smile, rather than that hardened glint in your eye that I am so used to?
Are you aware of my respect for you.
And how badly I'm dying for you to tell me.
"Good job."
Song of the moment; Numb (Linkin Park / Evanescence cover)
I'm tired of being what you want me to be.
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.
I don't know what you're expecting of me.
Under the pressure, of walking in your shoes.
Every step that I take, is another mistake to you.
And every second I waste is more than I CAN TAKE.
I've become so numb, I can feel you there.
I've become so tired, so much more aware.
And I'm becoming this, all I want to do.
Is be more like me, and be less like you.
I will succeed, I will overcome. I no longer fear my death because I feel this life. I will not regret, but rather progress to a point where I become the definition of fearless.
Take hold of your bravery.
Are you proud of me now? Can you look at me with a smile, rather than that hardened glint in your eye that I am so used to?
Are you aware of my respect for you.
And how badly I'm dying for you to tell me.
"Good job."
Monday, April 19, 2010
Carry On.
i've seen the promiseland, and that's why i know,
we cant stop.
ive been to the mountain top.
life's a struggle. obviously. it takes effort to succeed.
fighting.
pray for me.
west point or annapolis, i'll see you in a year.
we cant stop.
ive been to the mountain top.
life's a struggle. obviously. it takes effort to succeed.
fighting.
pray for me.
west point or annapolis, i'll see you in a year.
Please
Just wish me luck with my applications. I'm counting almost entirely on my SAT grade (taking may 1) and my teacher/counselor recommendations. But first I need that government nomination.
Praying that Obama, Biden, Van Hollen, Cardin, or Mikulski comes through for me.
I need to get these letters out asap.
Praying that Obama, Biden, Van Hollen, Cardin, or Mikulski comes through for me.
I need to get these letters out asap.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Heartbeat.
Equinox - 30 Seconds to Mars.
I'm not sure what's been going on recently. I feel as if bit by bit I'm slipping up. Well, bunch by bunch. My mind's been so... weak? slow? whatever. My memory's been failing me recently, a lot more than it used to. Sure, I still have the ability to grasp concepts easily, but who gives a crap if they're forgotten within hours. I'm constantly misplacing and losing things now, where in the past I could keep track of everything. Whatever. Who cares anyways, that's somewhat normal for people our age. But it's still... somewhat frightening to notice the extremes to which my body is failing me. I sit at home, or in class, or anywhere for that matter, and my limbs tremble. I have trouble simply breathing at times. Place a hand to my chest, feel my heartbeat. I wonder if you can. I no longer have the ability to simply inhale, to capture this oxygen that is necessary to fuel me. I lay in bed, on the couch, simply trying to breathe. Trying to remember what I'm supposed to be doing, trying to remember who I am. Who the real me is. My body screams at me, "get up." It pleads, crying desperately, "use me. love me as you once used to. carry me and i'll carry you." But I refuse. In my mind I feel these natural instinctive urges to be feed myself, to lift my body and move, to survive. Yet I can never bring myself to. My will fades, and my body submits... It regresses.
I open my mouth to speak, to free my mind and release myself from these chains of self-consciousness and fear. But before the words come out... I'm sealed away. My mouth snaps shut, the foot that was soon to take a step forward, to ask for help recedes. My body feels weak, my eyelids heavy. And so I sit. And again, I just try to breathe. Why can I not breathe. Why do I gasp for air but all that fills me is... nothing. I am filled with emptiness. I am empty.
I've lost a sense of what's wrong with me. But oftentimes I'm just too prideful, too scared to ask for help. Life's lost it's appeal. Food no longer satisfies, it literally tastes like ash in my mouth. Hobbies, writing, music, nothing fulfills anymore. I drive myself deeper into the ground, losing track of my old goals. I've found the path to my self-destruction, yet I follow it dutifully. I've lost my ability to love, to care, to understand and bond soul to soul.
I wonder how many times I've had this fight with myself, to turn around and get off of this track to hell. But every time, the depression wins, the carelessness prevails. I am in every sense of the word, lost. I take a look at these surroundings, the familiar hills, roads, homes, buildings everywhere... but I think to myself, "this isn't mine. i do not belong here. i cannot call this home."
I take a look at myself, stare in the mirror and wonder what's happening to me.
Place a hand to my chest...
And try to feel this nonexistent heartbeat.
I'm not sure what's been going on recently. I feel as if bit by bit I'm slipping up. Well, bunch by bunch. My mind's been so... weak? slow? whatever. My memory's been failing me recently, a lot more than it used to. Sure, I still have the ability to grasp concepts easily, but who gives a crap if they're forgotten within hours. I'm constantly misplacing and losing things now, where in the past I could keep track of everything. Whatever. Who cares anyways, that's somewhat normal for people our age. But it's still... somewhat frightening to notice the extremes to which my body is failing me. I sit at home, or in class, or anywhere for that matter, and my limbs tremble. I have trouble simply breathing at times. Place a hand to my chest, feel my heartbeat. I wonder if you can. I no longer have the ability to simply inhale, to capture this oxygen that is necessary to fuel me. I lay in bed, on the couch, simply trying to breathe. Trying to remember what I'm supposed to be doing, trying to remember who I am. Who the real me is. My body screams at me, "get up." It pleads, crying desperately, "use me. love me as you once used to. carry me and i'll carry you." But I refuse. In my mind I feel these natural instinctive urges to be feed myself, to lift my body and move, to survive. Yet I can never bring myself to. My will fades, and my body submits... It regresses.
I open my mouth to speak, to free my mind and release myself from these chains of self-consciousness and fear. But before the words come out... I'm sealed away. My mouth snaps shut, the foot that was soon to take a step forward, to ask for help recedes. My body feels weak, my eyelids heavy. And so I sit. And again, I just try to breathe. Why can I not breathe. Why do I gasp for air but all that fills me is... nothing. I am filled with emptiness. I am empty.
I've lost a sense of what's wrong with me. But oftentimes I'm just too prideful, too scared to ask for help. Life's lost it's appeal. Food no longer satisfies, it literally tastes like ash in my mouth. Hobbies, writing, music, nothing fulfills anymore. I drive myself deeper into the ground, losing track of my old goals. I've found the path to my self-destruction, yet I follow it dutifully. I've lost my ability to love, to care, to understand and bond soul to soul.
I wonder how many times I've had this fight with myself, to turn around and get off of this track to hell. But every time, the depression wins, the carelessness prevails. I am in every sense of the word, lost. I take a look at these surroundings, the familiar hills, roads, homes, buildings everywhere... but I think to myself, "this isn't mine. i do not belong here. i cannot call this home."
I take a look at myself, stare in the mirror and wonder what's happening to me.
Place a hand to my chest...
And try to feel this nonexistent heartbeat.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
On My Own
Just say, say ain't so
Just say, say ain't so.
This is not the home that I know (That I know)
I never thought I'd let you down
Never thought I'd let you down
You promised, promised not to let me drown.
In my daydreams, you take over me.
In my daydreams, you take over me.
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel my limbs again?
Is this all in my mind?
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel that way again?
Am I losing my mind?
No way, it's not the same.
This place has had it's way.
I swore to never let you down
I never thought I'd let you down.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I let you drown.
In my daydreams, you take over me.
In my daydreams, you take over me.
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel my limbs again?
Is this all in my mind?
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel that way again?
Am I losing my mind?
Am I losing my mind?
Something's always pulling me under ground.
Is there something staring back at me.
Is there something waiting there for me?
But there never really was,
No there never really was,
And there never really was,
(Something's always pulling me under ground)
Something's always pulling me under.
Will my daydreams take over me.
Will these daydreams take over me?
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel my limbs again?
Is this all in my mind?
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel that way again?
Am I losing my mind?
Am I losing my mind?
Something's always pulling me under..
Open your eyes, tell me why.
Open your eyes, you shall see it.
Open your eyes, tell me why.
Open your eyes, you still sleep with it.
Open your eyes. [x6]
im scared. haha.
Just say, say ain't so.
This is not the home that I know (That I know)
I never thought I'd let you down
Never thought I'd let you down
You promised, promised not to let me drown.
In my daydreams, you take over me.
In my daydreams, you take over me.
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel my limbs again?
Is this all in my mind?
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel that way again?
Am I losing my mind?
No way, it's not the same.
This place has had it's way.
I swore to never let you down
I never thought I'd let you down.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I let you drown.
In my daydreams, you take over me.
In my daydreams, you take over me.
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel my limbs again?
Is this all in my mind?
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel that way again?
Am I losing my mind?
Am I losing my mind?
Something's always pulling me under ground.
Is there something staring back at me.
Is there something waiting there for me?
But there never really was,
No there never really was,
And there never really was,
(Something's always pulling me under ground)
Something's always pulling me under.
Will my daydreams take over me.
Will these daydreams take over me?
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel my limbs again?
Is this all in my mind?
Can I make it on my own?
Will I ever feel that way again?
Am I losing my mind?
Am I losing my mind?
Something's always pulling me under..
Open your eyes, tell me why.
Open your eyes, you shall see it.
Open your eyes, tell me why.
Open your eyes, you still sleep with it.
Open your eyes. [x6]
im scared. haha.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
just an idea to work on
don't abandon me...
with you gone who'll bond with me as we became we from me from i from you to thee.
you've existed as my brother, you existed as more than just another to whom i could cry out "pray for me"
but you, somehow committed a crime, sent bullets through my mind, shattering this fragile flesh of mine.
and i, became this hollow shell unrefined. my pieces lost like four bodies in a mine.
with you gone who'll bond with me as we became we from me from i from you to thee.
you've existed as my brother, you existed as more than just another to whom i could cry out "pray for me"
but you, somehow committed a crime, sent bullets through my mind, shattering this fragile flesh of mine.
and i, became this hollow shell unrefined. my pieces lost like four bodies in a mine.
Monday, April 12, 2010
hello.
You smile at me through eyes hazed by death, asking "pray for me"
Truth is, for you I would exchange our pain faithfully
Truth is, for you I would exchange our pain faithfully
Saturday, April 10, 2010
All I Need.
All I need is one blunt, one page, and one pen
One prayer - tell God forgive for one sin
Matter fact maybe more than one, look back
at all the hatred against me, fuck all of them
All I need is one life, one try, one breath I'm one man
What I stand for speaks for itself, they don't understand
Or want to see me on top, too damn egotistical
Talking all that slick shit, the same way these bitches do
This is crazy, I'm on the right track I'm finally found
You need some soul searchin, the time is now
All I need is one mic... to spread my voice to the whole world.
One prayer - tell God forgive for one sin
Matter fact maybe more than one, look back
at all the hatred against me, fuck all of them
All I need is one life, one try, one breath I'm one man
What I stand for speaks for itself, they don't understand
Or want to see me on top, too damn egotistical
Talking all that slick shit, the same way these bitches do
This is crazy, I'm on the right track I'm finally found
You need some soul searchin, the time is now
All I need is one mic... to spread my voice to the whole world.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Orchestral
I realized, I have a intense love for orchestral music. The whole flow, the mood, emotion, it's all just... so perfect. The pure combination of each instrument, adding it's voice to the entire group. It's just... so soothing listening.
Beautiful.
its an act of the beast
pitiful, they slander the biblical,
lock us down in the land of the critical.
why ain't none of us analytical?
am i a man or a miracle.
infecting the western hemispherical
with deadly lyrical thats incurable
saigon-true story.
playlist of the week;
[yes, these are from naruto/bleach haha. if there's one thing i like about manga/anime, its the music]
grief & sorrow - toshiro masuda
sadness & sorrow - toshiro masuda
utsusemi - takanashi yasuharu
kodoku - takanashi yasuharu
shitsui - takanashi yasuharu
here to stay - shiro sagisu
will of the heart - shiro sagisu
never meant to belong - shiro sagisu
burden of the past - shiro sagisu.
Beautiful.
its an act of the beast
pitiful, they slander the biblical,
lock us down in the land of the critical.
why ain't none of us analytical?
am i a man or a miracle.
infecting the western hemispherical
with deadly lyrical thats incurable
saigon-true story.
playlist of the week;
[yes, these are from naruto/bleach haha. if there's one thing i like about manga/anime, its the music]
grief & sorrow - toshiro masuda
sadness & sorrow - toshiro masuda
utsusemi - takanashi yasuharu
kodoku - takanashi yasuharu
shitsui - takanashi yasuharu
here to stay - shiro sagisu
will of the heart - shiro sagisu
never meant to belong - shiro sagisu
burden of the past - shiro sagisu.
Boom
In the seconds I have before david gets here,
Explosions in the sky - With tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls, we slept.
beautiful.
Explosions in the sky - With tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls, we slept.
beautiful.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
coda.
i burrow myself into these strands of music, swirling around me.
as each key is pressed, a lock clicks, and this door opens.
one step.
as i pass through the threshold of this house of my sanity,
i glance down.
like a beautiful memory, triplet bolts of copper streak through my eyes.
a soft simple composition, my soul enveloped in these notes and bars.
sweet rapture.
yet... within lies a sentimental chord.
previously unnoticed, passively intertwined.
a disguised bridge, creating this stairway to...
my personal heaven.
years pass by in minutes.
my love. my passion.
these keys.
black and white, pure simplicity.
emotion blossoms.
coda.
to be honest, i have no idea what the hell this is. haha --;
just a random idea. but it didnt really work out.
still, whatever.
as each key is pressed, a lock clicks, and this door opens.
one step.
as i pass through the threshold of this house of my sanity,
i glance down.
like a beautiful memory, triplet bolts of copper streak through my eyes.
a soft simple composition, my soul enveloped in these notes and bars.
sweet rapture.
yet... within lies a sentimental chord.
previously unnoticed, passively intertwined.
a disguised bridge, creating this stairway to...
my personal heaven.
years pass by in minutes.
my love. my passion.
these keys.
black and white, pure simplicity.
emotion blossoms.
coda.
to be honest, i have no idea what the hell this is. haha --;
just a random idea. but it didnt really work out.
still, whatever.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
age 18.
this cavern of my mind contains a maze.
a maze in which the walls are etched: sadness and sorrow. grief and sorrow. engulf me.
for through this time, these 18 years of life, ive aimlessly wandered these corridors, frightened.
these floors curve up in the distance, creating this illusion that i am constantly walking uphill.
in 6570 days time, i have finally realized that it's a ball in which i live.
a ball of bars and chains, yet composed of my own memories and thoughts.
in essence, forcing me to reminisce when i longer wish to.
forcing me to my knees at the memory of you.
for these 190 days ive yearned for an escape,
from my solitude.
as i lay on these sandy shores, memories and images run through my mind.
your laugh. your smile. your touch.
i gaze at the sun but in time avert my eyes.
these heavy lids connect, and before i know it ive traveled through space and appear...
before you.
for this fleeting moment my heart leaps, and i smile.
for i realize... even 2400 miles away, i am loved.
i return to my soul not bonded.
but free with a smile.
no matter where life takes us.
love.
a maze in which the walls are etched: sadness and sorrow. grief and sorrow. engulf me.
for through this time, these 18 years of life, ive aimlessly wandered these corridors, frightened.
these floors curve up in the distance, creating this illusion that i am constantly walking uphill.
in 6570 days time, i have finally realized that it's a ball in which i live.
a ball of bars and chains, yet composed of my own memories and thoughts.
in essence, forcing me to reminisce when i longer wish to.
forcing me to my knees at the memory of you.
for these 190 days ive yearned for an escape,
from my solitude.
as i lay on these sandy shores, memories and images run through my mind.
your laugh. your smile. your touch.
i gaze at the sun but in time avert my eyes.
these heavy lids connect, and before i know it ive traveled through space and appear...
before you.
for this fleeting moment my heart leaps, and i smile.
for i realize... even 2400 miles away, i am loved.
i return to my soul not bonded.
but free with a smile.
no matter where life takes us.
love.
Time.
I want to say that time is a fallacy in itself.
For how do you say that it is today, what is tomorrow, what is yesterday
What is to come, what is to be
What will never exist, and what exists eternally.
How do you say our futures exist when, In reality, our future is now.
Carpediem, Seize the moment, capture the second.
With every tick of time that passes by, our moment is gone.
Can you capture a moment without losing your sanity?
Is it possible to truly remember without being lost in the touch, the warm embrace of yourself.
Is all of this, truly deception...
Is of all of this...
Truly,
Time.
For how do you say that it is today, what is tomorrow, what is yesterday
What is to come, what is to be
What will never exist, and what exists eternally.
How do you say our futures exist when, In reality, our future is now.
Carpediem, Seize the moment, capture the second.
With every tick of time that passes by, our moment is gone.
Can you capture a moment without losing your sanity?
Is it possible to truly remember without being lost in the touch, the warm embrace of yourself.
Is all of this, truly deception...
Is of all of this...
Truly,
Time.
Depth of thought.
Sigh. Today's been a stressful day. So much thinking about the future, about the present, everything. I wonder what's going to happen to everybody. We've all hit that transition stage... The seniors are gone soon, and for us juniors... we're hitting a point where our main focus is going to be purely college [or military. or work. whatever paths we pursue].
And it's frightening... Just thinking about it makes me want to just... withdraw. I want to just curl up, let it all fade away. Wake up one day in the future with everything magically changed.
My ambition is spent. I have no clear goal, no distinct path for me to follow. I'm lost.
i wonder, if i could tell you how many times i have cried.
tears fallen like lead from these eyes, poisoning my water supply yet i drink and drink to replenish myself due to this constant spilling of burning fluid from up high.
i ask myself, and through this hollow shell of my soul i ask you, is it too late to apologize?
let me reiterate this question. is it too late to plead forgiveness for this love-sick crime. for the way that i simply broke this connection like a piece of loose twine is torn from the tattered fabric at your thigh?
by myself ive been jailed and then tried, and i too late realize the consequences of my actions.
i too late realize how at that time i tortured your mind, how i, committed this crime so despicable in my own eyes, that in the fine print of my ruling as the judge of my own life,
i exclaim.
horrible. by my hand you will die.
And it's frightening... Just thinking about it makes me want to just... withdraw. I want to just curl up, let it all fade away. Wake up one day in the future with everything magically changed.
My ambition is spent. I have no clear goal, no distinct path for me to follow. I'm lost.
i wonder, if i could tell you how many times i have cried.
tears fallen like lead from these eyes, poisoning my water supply yet i drink and drink to replenish myself due to this constant spilling of burning fluid from up high.
i ask myself, and through this hollow shell of my soul i ask you, is it too late to apologize?
let me reiterate this question. is it too late to plead forgiveness for this love-sick crime. for the way that i simply broke this connection like a piece of loose twine is torn from the tattered fabric at your thigh?
by myself ive been jailed and then tried, and i too late realize the consequences of my actions.
i too late realize how at that time i tortured your mind, how i, committed this crime so despicable in my own eyes, that in the fine print of my ruling as the judge of my own life,
i exclaim.
horrible. by my hand you will die.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Sometimes.
At times it pains me to say that I'm an American born and raised.
I've lived this life of comfort, with a mother who loves and friends to shelter from these tears and this rain,
I've lived with my cheeks in a high chair.
Elevated by status above others of less fortune by a few simple lines known as division by culture, race, and the existence of the United States.
I've lived in a place where money is power. Electricity and influence as well as the right to a shower, of companionship and warmth and the security of a home,
Whereas in these third-world lands of misfortune children are dying by the thousands as their shot in their domes.
Domes empty of the abundance of knowledge and the wealth of education rejected by these, my fellow ignorant children due to their belief of "what they will need." to survive.
When in reality, our underlying subconscious acknowledges the folly of these "needs," knowing the mentally challenged impulse-type-sales of, these weeds are retarding these seeds of knowledge for which every day, millions of children desperately plead.
We weigh campuses such as, BC, CP, where a third-world away these thirteen year old boys are wondering: "Do I feed my brothers and sisters, or simply satisfy me?"
Juggling between a family bonded from what we call hood-rats, a group of seventeen a meal that in our own spoiled and selfish mentality wouldn't be considered fit for a teen.
We dance to these beats, expressing our "love for the rhythm," and our musical needs,
Where they dance to the "clak-clak-clak" of AK's blowing holes near their feet.
Upon the time of my death, as I take my last breath in this bed, I simply want to question: "was this life legitimately led? If I could re-wind time would I trade my life for yours to become a savior instead?"
And sadly, I answer myself.
No.
I am undeserving.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
That feeling.
Don't you ever get that feeling/thought, when you're struggling and someone asks what's wrong, you answer no for whatever reason but in your mind your desperately pleading: "ask again."
I don't know why it's on my mind, but I guess it just is. Maybe it's because the books I've been remembering/trying to remind myself to re-read. 13 Reasons Why - Jay Asher or something like that. Haha sometimes I just stand there pleading: "ask once. Not even again, just give me a chance to say what's on my mind."
Eh. Not in the mood to finish my thought.
Bye.
Friday, April 2, 2010
I Miss... (you too)
Currently listening to; Remember When It Rained, When You Say You Love Me - Josh Groban.
Currently [re]reading; Armour - John Steakley, Speaker For The Dead - Orson Scott Card.
Currently thinking;
[2]
you too.
Haha. We don't talk much either anymore. Hardly ever as a matter of fact (did I say that for the last person? Maybe I did).
Basically everything in the last post applies to this post, but... I just feel like I ought to write another one. What happened to friendship. Family. I don't know. Everything. Sometimes I just sit here, questioning where everyone went. Over-dramatic or whatever, but sometimes I just bring back memories and I wonder what happened to the closeness everyone felt back then. Especially between us in particular. I remember a point in time where I could go to you for anything and everything. You were someone I would always confide in for every issue I had. To be honest, it was somewhat selfish on my part considering how little advice or assistance I could give to you for your problems, but still, I miss it. Nowadays we greet each other with an occasional hello, but not much more than that. You've mentioned it in the past too, how little we talk now. But I guess that's life.
Still... I guess I just wanted to say, regardless of that separation and that... lack of communication anymore, I remember, and I'll just... always be there I guess? Oh, and thank you for everything. For all of the time, for all of the compassion you showed me, however undeserved.
Hahah, I'm getting sort-of worked up writing this. Teary haha. There's no real way for me to express my thanks and/or to show you how much you've helped me, knowing or unknowingly.
Just thank you. So much.
When you say you love me,
The world goes still, so still inside.
I don't know how but I feel sheltered in your love
You're where I belong
And when you're with me if I close my eyes
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time
Somewhere between
The heavens and earth
I'm frozen in time
Whether you know it or not, your approval, your trust, your unconditional care and yeah, just everything. It's helped me through so much. For years, you've allowed me to believe in myself. Thank you.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Playlist of the day;
MC Sniper - BK Love, Gloomy Sunday.
Random Thought; I have TWO packs of BBQ David Sunflower Seeds because I never finished the one I got like last week, and got another today to share... but ate like none of hahaha. Fail.
I am EXTREMELY out of shape. Seriously, I need to start jogging again haha, or at the very least work on my cardio. Seriously, when I lift/run I die from fail breathing after like ten minutes haha. So pitiful. It's times like this I wish I had a treadmill so I wouldn't look frail/fail at running in the roads.
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