Over the past few days I realized, there's moments throughout each day where I just seem to disappear from the world. My mind blanks out completely; I guess you could say I feel somewhat at peace, at least in comparison to my conscious state of being. But at the same time, bubbling underneath I feel this... for lack of a better phrase, grief and sorrow. There's times when people simply assume I'm mentally blanking out, while in reality I'm just so struck with anguish that my will to move is obliterated. And the saddest part is, I can't seem to figure out or understand why. Sure, I can throw out a few wild guesses here and there but none seem all that likely.
Even when the situation is noticed or understood by anyone, my throat feels sealed and I'm unable to speak. Unable to reach out or ask for help.
My words burn like ashes in my mouth.
I wonder sometimes if you understand.
I'm not one to speak. I'm hardly one to listen.
Please, if you know that it's bothering me and makes me uncomfortable, just stop.
Explain to me what your reasoning is for pressuring.
I wonder, often actually, if anyone truly understands me.
Bury Your Head.Collapse.You're Not[I am] Alone
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