Copied/pasted straight from an old facebook note.
Ignore the Imeem links, and the facebook note links.
What it is is what it is.
[Idunno, I tagged random people. Discipleship came first. Then my class/grade followed I guess... for the most part. If I missed you, just tell me. This should get updated daily.]
-January 10th-
Seven pounds, seven people, seven seconds leading to seven individual moments.
What would it take to get you to donate seven separate parts of your body.
What would it take to get you to sacrifice your life?
Would the only inspiration for you to act be that you killed seven people, one of which you knew?
Do you care?
How would you act...
-January 11th-
Sundays a day I never really knew,
Hidden and buried enjoyment was never really expressed.
Really, not sure if I even understand it yet,
But hey... who really ever understands anything about life.
Just live it as it is,
No matter what happens, just trust in it...
Who's hands will you lay your life in?
Yours? Your neighbors? Will it be shared?
As for me... I still prefer having some level of control.
-January 12th-
Living a life of sin one never knows whether he's worthy to begin again,
But regardless... It's understood
-January 13th-
So at first, I had a huge written like... thing...
I got pissed during third and fourth period and vented like hell.
Wrote like 5 pages I guess, if not more.
Thing is, I re-read it... and trashed it. The. Most. Bull. I've. Ever. Written.
-January 14th-
http://www.imeem.com/icery
Lyrics are included.
I've just been listening to this song and I guess it really just got me thinking.
Really, I guess I've just been walking blindly in the dark, staring at my own personal "Polaris" or North Star, trying to guide myself to wherever I felt I was supposed to go.
But thinking now... I realize I've been more lost now than I could have realized.
I feel like I've been walking through like dozens of "crossroads" and just keep passing so many paths, but I'm just passing them blindly, or turning where I shouldnt, while I keep looking for my own personal guiding light, but I realized that honestly, I can't find it.
I am... lost...
If there was one thing I never understood about my life,
It was just these crossroads, where I stepped was it right?
Did I take the right path, did I step correct
Did I look before I lept, before I jumped to my death?
Feel as if I'm chained to my choices,
Been made a slave and beaten without a reason,
By these demons chasing me, by these demons hating me
Ever present haunting me, keeping me from living free, ever present blinding me
But then I look at the guiding light, ever present guiding me,
Breaking through the darkness that's been hiding me
Or so I wished, or so I had thought,
But now I realize that my life's been torn apart...
My Eternal Morning, My Eternal Mourning.
I wonder which.
Two separate meanings, nearly polar opposites.
I spend my waking moments looking for that glimmer of sunshine coming over the horizon,
Looking for that signal of morning, a new day, hopefully a period of grace for myself...
A period of peace, isolation, where I can think and live...
But I realize that may never come.
Some moments I just spend thinking, what really is my life. An eternal morning?
Or do I spend my life in eternal mourning.
Can't help but just feel like life is just eternal mourning,
We cry, but to shed the feelings we laugh and we sing...
Does this explain my emotion?
While it opens me... It confuses me. Perhaps I understand myself worse than the people who see me,
I wonder...
Explain to me,
Do I spend my life in an Eternal Morning, or in Eternal Mourning...
Would someone just tell me...
-January 15th-
http://www.imeem.com/agent
Song of the day
Coda - Thomas' Apartment
Sitting and thinking, reliving the day.
I spend moments of my life studying, working, attempting to understand the idea... of... life..?
Who am I...
To understand this
What do I do...
To deserve this
Where am I....
Going to go in my life?
Just the questions of life...
-January 16th-
Satisfaction...
For once I feel as if I'm not out of my league, as if I can handle what's ahead of me, that I can do... Whatever it is that I was meant to do in this life.
Who knows,
I can lead it.
I can fail, but failure makes me stronger.
Michael Jordan, the idol of thousands...
He failed, and recognized it.
But in the end, he grew to be stronger than any before him, understand it?
Believe, and one can grow.
Godbless, stay strong, stay together.
-January 17th-
:Time: 3:30 P.M:
What is human nature.
What is determination, desire, our impulse?
What is the reason that we wake every day, that we enslave ourselves to this pressure.
That we spend hours upon hours... fighting for... nothing?
Is there any true hope for success as a human being,
As a flawed creation, a man or woman of no true blessing
What drives me...
:Time 9:51 P.M:
Seriously, I can't help but feel sometimes my life itself is destined for failure.
Really, what would you do...
All I do is hope, fight for a chance at success
Spend every waking moment working to break that wall
Working, hoping once to just touch and know success...
Just cant help but wonder...
Will it happen one day?
:Time 10:00 P.M:
Man I am so full of bullshit...
Honestly... What the hell am I doing right now
"So much potential" according to all of you, but I still do the worst in every aspect of life,
No matter how hard I try...
I push it off every single time that I'm just "lazy"
But you know something? Even right now,
No matter how much effort I put into anything
It never works
Seriously, is failure my token event?
A couple days ago I said MJ failed, and grew stronger because of that.
But to be real, that's just an inspirational commercial, an ad to get you to try harder.
For me..?
... My life is bullshit.
-January 18th-
Well... Guess I need to apologize for yesterday.
I don't know why, but something was really bothering me...
Still haven't resolved it but it's something that can wait,
Other things need to come first...
You see, you come up to me and claim the right of no apologies.
You approach me, fuming, blind, never seeing both sides of the story
I don't want to fight you, I don't want you to hate me,
So why do you...?
If I am you and you are me...
Oh crap, I'm so sorry...
-January 19th-
Today... was... interesting...
Enough said
-January 20th-
Wheee, met new people.. or was that yesterday? LoL
19th&20th, memory's really.. fuzzy... dont know what happened.
-January 21st-
http://www.facebook.com/no
Must read...
Please...
-January 22nd-
http://www.facebook.com/no
Expression of love, expression of faith.
Expression of my trust in others...
What truly is the essence of expression
Two non physical aspects of life... yet they make up...
The largest part of our lives...
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