of the day;
all by 12 stones
stay.
arms of a stranger.
world so cold.
photograph.
it was you.
broken road.
anthem for the underdog.
yet another reason to learn to play guitar.
Monday, May 31, 2010
You, yes you.
I seem to write about you a lot on this thing. Can we talk? Hang out, chill, just talk.
It seems as if we haven't talked for years. Which actually, we haven't haha.
Anyways, uh. Peace?
It seems as if we haven't talked for years. Which actually, we haven't haha.
Anyways, uh. Peace?
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Lost. [not found]
So... Oikos was interesting today. Sorta. I am never going back to germantown oikos again. I realized a few things today;
1- the bible is written in horrible english, at least NIV version. though i'm not exactly one to talk.
2- adults irritate me.
3- i despise praying. i see no more reason in it. in all honesty, my opinion is that it's bullshit.
4- my personal take on most parables/lessons in the bible is rejecting. very. very. rejecting.
whatever.
\\edit.//
i feel lost. legitimately lost. i feel as if i say that often. i can't exactly remember. blanking out crucially these days. sdiagjdsiogmaovmromegsg. whatever. i love that word. the entire idea behind it. whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever.
what. fucking. ever.
i just dont give a shit about anything anymore haha.
so, ive got a lang project for my final. two actually. ones a reflection on how english classes over the years have effected me as a writer. im actually looking forward to this one. the other's a reflection on any event/time period/occurrence in my life that's effected me drastically. i might actually need time to think about this. theres so much i could write about, but cramming it all into three pages is going to be a struggle.
i want to fly away.
1- the bible is written in horrible english, at least NIV version. though i'm not exactly one to talk.
2- adults irritate me.
3- i despise praying. i see no more reason in it. in all honesty, my opinion is that it's bullshit.
4- my personal take on most parables/lessons in the bible is rejecting. very. very. rejecting.
whatever.
\\edit.//
i feel lost. legitimately lost. i feel as if i say that often. i can't exactly remember. blanking out crucially these days. sdiagjdsiogmaovmromegsg. whatever. i love that word. the entire idea behind it. whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever.
what. fucking. ever.
i just dont give a shit about anything anymore haha.
so, ive got a lang project for my final. two actually. ones a reflection on how english classes over the years have effected me as a writer. im actually looking forward to this one. the other's a reflection on any event/time period/occurrence in my life that's effected me drastically. i might actually need time to think about this. theres so much i could write about, but cramming it all into three pages is going to be a struggle.
i want to fly away.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Last Samurai
So, I watched The Last Samurai again and I've got to say, the movie is beautiful.
The part that sticks with me the most though is the closing. This idea of what is legitimate loyalty, as well as the underlying theme of progression, time and future.
It just makes me wonder if I'll ever find peace within myself. Joining the old with the new to create who I'm truly meant to be.
The part that sticks with me the most though is the closing. This idea of what is legitimate loyalty, as well as the underlying theme of progression, time and future.
It just makes me wonder if I'll ever find peace within myself. Joining the old with the new to create who I'm truly meant to be.
Monday, May 24, 2010
My head hurts.
Maybe it's too much sleep. And too little at the same time. I wake up like every 30 minutes, then once I need to wake up, I cant.
Whatever.
Whatever.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
I guess it's time.
A message to the seniors, although [most likely] 100% of you will not see this. We've known each other for varying amounts of time, anywhere from just a few years, to half our lives. And although I want to say goodluck, goodbye and wishes for the best as you all continue your lives, I realize that the vast majority of you will be here for the upcoming years. So... I'm somewhat stuck on what to even say to you all. Goodluck struggling through four(+) more years of jiral work, and hopefully you'll all succeed.
My Letter To You;
The fact of the matter remains, I love you as family. But because of that love, I remain distant. There's an underlying fear, a growing desire for acceptance, but at the same time a certain force that simply prevents me from reaching out to you. Whether you all stay or leave, in a year or so time I will be gone, if only to satisfy my irrational desire to escape.
I acknowledge this fact; it is a fact to me. A fact. I will be gone, you may or may not. I've got this growing fear within myself of disappearing, becoming once again, nobody. This feeling's just compounded by the fact that I'm constantly uprooted, experiencing new environments, never legitimately settling in, or feeling comfortable with my surroundings. Yet over time I've come to be at home in the belief that I cannot be at home. Do you understand me? It's a pretty crooked way to think, isn't it.
I'm stuck in the past, every time my entirety's transposed to what feels like an entire new dimension I'm stuck reminiscing about what once was. I miss the comfort, the free flow of conversation and ease of speech.
There isn't exactly much to say.
Just a question, a fleeting hope.
Can we all just spend a day, and just... talk. Laugh a bit, just take a moment to stop, remember the friendship, and... Let it all disappear.
Because it's already gone.
Just bring it back for a moment, please?
All I thought was a dream
Was as real as it seemed
I made a mistake
Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen
Goodbye or hello, come back to me and be welcomed again
From the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin
Maybe one day we could meet face to face?
In a place without time and space
Another thing. I de-activated facebook in the hopes that I'd do something more productive with my time. It's only been like... four hours, but still, its disheartening to open a new tab on mozilla and automatically type "face," until I realize what I'm doing and change it to something like yahoo or gmail. I wonder when I'll escape the trappings of technology as I see it. When will I learn to abandon this, seeing how unnecessary it is in everyday life. Yet I type this all on an online blog. Interesting.
My third edit on the same post. Sorry to anyone, if you even read this.
But the ignorance, stupidity and insensitivity of people drives me crazy sometimes. I speak like a hypocrite, but can't you tell when he's at the brink of disaster.
Please, take your head out of your ass and help, don't tear down.
Fucking shameful.
I want to cry out to you, help me... But at the same time I feel this ambivalence, and so I wallow in my grief.
Just a letter to the world. No, not only you. To the world.
Let me go.
My Letter To You;
The fact of the matter remains, I love you as family. But because of that love, I remain distant. There's an underlying fear, a growing desire for acceptance, but at the same time a certain force that simply prevents me from reaching out to you. Whether you all stay or leave, in a year or so time I will be gone, if only to satisfy my irrational desire to escape.
I acknowledge this fact; it is a fact to me. A fact. I will be gone, you may or may not. I've got this growing fear within myself of disappearing, becoming once again, nobody. This feeling's just compounded by the fact that I'm constantly uprooted, experiencing new environments, never legitimately settling in, or feeling comfortable with my surroundings. Yet over time I've come to be at home in the belief that I cannot be at home. Do you understand me? It's a pretty crooked way to think, isn't it.
I'm stuck in the past, every time my entirety's transposed to what feels like an entire new dimension I'm stuck reminiscing about what once was. I miss the comfort, the free flow of conversation and ease of speech.
There isn't exactly much to say.
Just a question, a fleeting hope.
Can we all just spend a day, and just... talk. Laugh a bit, just take a moment to stop, remember the friendship, and... Let it all disappear.
Because it's already gone.
Just bring it back for a moment, please?
All I thought was a dream
Was as real as it seemed
I made a mistake
Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen
Goodbye or hello, come back to me and be welcomed again
From the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin
Maybe one day we could meet face to face?
In a place without time and space
happy birthday - flipsyde.
Another thing. I de-activated facebook in the hopes that I'd do something more productive with my time. It's only been like... four hours, but still, its disheartening to open a new tab on mozilla and automatically type "face," until I realize what I'm doing and change it to something like yahoo or gmail. I wonder when I'll escape the trappings of technology as I see it. When will I learn to abandon this, seeing how unnecessary it is in everyday life. Yet I type this all on an online blog. Interesting.
My third edit on the same post. Sorry to anyone, if you even read this.
But the ignorance, stupidity and insensitivity of people drives me crazy sometimes. I speak like a hypocrite, but can't you tell when he's at the brink of disaster.
Please, take your head out of your ass and help, don't tear down.
Fucking shameful.
I want to cry out to you, help me... But at the same time I feel this ambivalence, and so I wallow in my grief.
Just a letter to the world. No, not only you. To the world.
Let me go.
... I wonder if I can take my own advice, and let go of everything.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
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